Wedding gift ideas

Use the registry first

If the couple has a registry, start there. They made it so guests would not have to guess, and buying from it is not unimaginative. Pick something from the middle of the price range, and buy early. The cheap items go first, then the very expensive ones sit untouched until the end.

Off-registry gifts work when you know the couple well, or when you pick something that fits any home. Wool blankets, good glassware and serving pieces are hard to get wrong. Small appliances and decor in a strong style are easy to get wrong.

Cash is normal at many weddings and in some families it is expected. If the couple asks for money toward a house or a honeymoon, give it. You can still pair a cheque with something small, like the Brightland oil and vinegar duo, so there is something to open.

Second weddings and older couples usually have full kitchens. For them, think experiences, a travel card, or one very good object such as a wool throw, rather than another set of bowls.

Gifts that last

A wedding gift gets used for decades, so put the money into materials that age well. Iron pans like the Solidteknics frypan, wool blankets from Topsy Farms, Melin Tregwynt or Waverley Mills, and crystal like the Urban Bar coupes are all things a couple can still use on their twentieth anniversary.

Kitchen gear is the safest bet for a couple setting up a first home together. The Lodge 13 x 9 dish, the Our Place Always Pan and the Joseph Joseph Nest set cover daily cooking. For a couple who already have a full kitchen, go for an upgrade instead: a Japanese knife like the Ichigo Ichie gyuto or a Chemex for weekend coffee.

For something more personal, the Personalized Anniversary Journal gives them a reason to sit down once a year and write. Umbra's Flute frames solve the problem of where all the wedding photos go.

How much to spend

There is no fixed rule, but a common guide is to spend more the closer you are. For a coworker or distant relative, $50 to $100 is normal. Close friends and family often spend $100 to $200, more if they are in the wedding party.

If you are travelling to a destination wedding, many couples expect a smaller gift. A card with a note and a modest gift is fine.

For a large gift like the HexClad set or a queen wool blanket, go in with friends. One gift from four people is better than four small things the couple will donate.

Mistakes to avoid

Monogramming everything. Initials limit returns and some couples do not share a surname. Personalise only when you know their wishes.

Shipping fragile glass without checking. Glassware and marble like the Nkuku ice bucket travel badly. Ship to the couple's home after the wedding, not to the venue, where gifts get lost or broken.

Ignoring care. Iron needs oiling, wool needs gentle washing, Japanese knives cannot go in the dishwasher. Choose for how the couple actually lives. A couple who put everything in the dishwasher will be happier with the Pendleton machine-washable blanket than a hand-wash throw.

Timing and shipping

Etiquette gives guests up to a few months after the wedding to send a gift, but sending it before or within a month is kinder to the couple's thank-you list. Several picks have lead times: the anniversary journal is made to order, and the Solidteknics pan was a pre-order when checked.

Most shops on this list sell in one country. Topsy Farms and Revolution Wool are Canadian, Melin Tregwynt, Burleigh and Robert Welch are UK listings, and Waverley Mills, Pik-Nik and Ink & Spindle are Australian. Buy in the couple's country to avoid duties. If you are late, the Airbnb card arrives by email.

Questions people ask

How much should you spend on a wedding gift?

It depends on how close you are. Coworkers and acquaintances usually spend $50 to $100. Close friends and relatives often give $100 to $200 or more. If you are paying for travel to a destination wedding, a smaller gift is fine. Group gifts let you give something bigger, like cookware or a wool blanket, without each person overspending.

Is it rude to buy a wedding gift that is not on the registry?

No, as long as it is useful and fits the couple. Choose things that suit any home: good glassware, a wool blanket, a baking dish or a serving board. Avoid strong decor, large appliances and anything personalised unless you know their taste well. Include a gift receipt so they can exchange it without having to ask you.

When should you send a wedding gift?

Ideally before the wedding or within a month after it. Ship to the couple's home rather than bringing it to the reception, where gifts can get lost or broken. If you bring a card to the venue, keep it slim. Some items here are made to order or on pre-order, so check lead times.

What is a good wedding gift for a couple who already live together?

They likely have the basics, so think upgrades. Swap a tired nonstick pan for an iron one, give a proper chef's knife, or add crystal glasses for the drinks they already make at home. A yearly anniversary journal or a travel gift card for a honeymoon trip also suits couples whose kitchen is already full.